"The Disappearance of Srila Bhaktiprajana Kesava Maharaja".

7. Ibid. Srila Prabhupada Lecture. "The Disappearance of Srila Bhaktiprajana Kesava Maharaja". Oct. 21, 1968. Seattle, Washington. pg. 31-35.

". . . One has to accept the renounced order (sannyasa) from another person who is in the renounced order. I never thought that I shall accept this renounced order or life. In my family life, when I was in the midst of my wife and children, sometimes I dreamt that my spiritual master was calling me and I was following him. When my dream was over, I was a little horrified and thought "Oh, Guru Maharaja wants me to become a sannyasi. How can I accept sannyasa?" At that time, I was not feeling very satisfied that I would have to give up my family and become a mendicant; it was a horrible feeling. But again I saw the same dream. So in this way I was fortunate. My Guru Maharaja (Srila Prabhupada begins to cry with a choked voice) pulled me out from this material life. I have not lost anything. He was so kind upon me. I have gained. I left three children, and I have got now three hundred children.

So I am not the loser. It is only our material conception if we thing that we shall be the loser by accepting Krsna. I can say from my practical experience that nobody is the loser. I was thinking, "How can I accept this renounced order of life? I cannot accept so much trouble." But I retired from my family life, and I was sitting alone in Vrindavana writing books. My Godbrother (Srila Bhaktiprajnana Kesava Goswami Maharaja) insisted, "Bhaktivedanta prabhu.." This title was given to me by the Vaisnava society. It is not that he insisted. Practically speaking my spiritual master insisted through him: "You accept".

Without accepting the renounced order of life, no one can become a preacher. He therefore forced me through this Godbrother who said, "You accept", and unwillingly I accepted. Then I remembered that Guru Maharaja wanted me to go to the Western countries. So I am feeling now very much obliged to my Godbrother, because he carried out the wish of my spiritual master and forced me to accept this sannyasa order)

Ibid. Letter to Sripad Trivikrama Maharaja. Seattle, Wa. Oct. 22, 1968 pg.38-39.

. . ."The greatest compassion of Srila Kesava Maharaja was to make me a sannyasi. I had taken a vow that I would never accept sannyasa, but Srila Maharaja forcibly gave it to me. He would certainly have been most pleased today to see the success of my preaching....I was a staunch grhamedi (one who is absorbed in household affairs). Srila Prabhupada used to come to me in dreams from time to time and call me to renounce family life and come along with him. The dreams would frighten me and make me think that I would have to accept sannyasa. I didn't have any desire to take sannyasa. But upon the repeated insistence of Sripada Narayana Maharaja, Srila Kesava Maharaja bestowed boundless mercy upon this unwilling and blind person, by forcibly giving my sannyasa. It seems that this desire of Srila Prabhupada's was transmitted into his heart, and it was thus that my sannyasa was accomplished. So I am eternally indebted to Srila Maharaja.". . .